Hello, right?! In a recent post, Dr. Anderson shared that most people live with trauma their whole lives without realizing it. It shows up in hidden ways – with relationship difficulty, with yelling at our kids, with substance use and overeating – which are all protective responses to situations beyond our control.
To remain ignorant that these behaviors are at the root of a trauma history, is really sad. Because then people aren’t living full and complete lives, and unfortunately our society encourages coping mechanisms like drinking. This was true for me for a long time; too long really. I was aware of my trauma but it took a while to find the right tools to clear it.Â
Parental anger is an especially difficult place because we worry we’re harming our kids when we yell, and to some degree we may be although making amends does go a long way. So the release of anger brings shame and immense guilt. Unfortunately, parenthood doesn’t allow our old bumps and bruises to hide anymore. As Minna Dubin says in her book, Mom Rage, ‘parenthood is a dark place for perfectionists’. We can no longer control our lives (or believe that we’re controlling them) once small humans enter the picture. And kids naturally push our buttons and poke our most sensitive places.
Don’t get me wrong. Mom Rage is completely justified. The number of things moms are expected to manage, from healthy snacks to camp forms to birthday presents and making memorable holidays to knowing the location of everyone’s soccer cleats/swim goggles/homework to holding down a job too? It had its pandemic moment with hotlines where moms could finally scream at the top of their lungs without being judged. As demanding as that time was, having kids back at school doesn’t resolve all the issues, expectations and burdens on moms’ shoulders, particularly in the US where you have to build your own support network (and that takes a lot of energy too if you don't have family to rely on). Maybe you're one of the many moms whose latent rage is like a dormant volcano ready to explode. If so, you're not alone.
Let me help you dissolve some of that irritation, frustration and overwhelm at my April 3rd group tapping event. You don’t have to show up actively angry to benefit (but it’s ok if you do). Past triggers leave a residue in your body and mind, and they’re waiting to be given a voice. We’ll find out where they’re hanging out and give them release. We’ll also explore these questions:
In which parts of your life do you deserve to be treated better?Â
Where were your boundaries crossed or your needs left unmet?Â
Let’s transform anger from a source of distress to an ability to assert your right to be treated well. If you’re new to tapping, this is a great way to see how it works for you. Registration link for April 3rd Tapping Circle.